I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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