I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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