let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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