I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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