pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize