it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
