Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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