hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
