Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize