i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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