I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
