im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she told me i tasted like america
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
