i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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