The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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