Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
