I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize