My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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