mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
