who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
