how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
