I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
