guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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