and you said cock pushups were impossible
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize