There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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