I could have mohawked her pubes.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
