Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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