He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
