Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
