forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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