He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
