I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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