Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
