Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
