I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
