btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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