shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
