Can Purell be used as lube?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize