Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
