just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
