Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just come out here and I will go home with you...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
