Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
