is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
