first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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