Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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