I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
