I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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