Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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