I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
