I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Drunk is a universal language darling
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