is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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