I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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