whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Congratulations! We have a period
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
