sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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