I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize