Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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