Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
