her facebook's as public as her vagina
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
