Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize