I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
