I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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