can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
