yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
