I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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