I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
