i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You smell like stripper and shame
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
