Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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